13 Things You Should NEVER Wear on Pain of Death!

I'm sorry - what the HELL IS THIS?

The point of getting dressed every day is to look your best. Sure, sure, if you are among the genetically blessed and can wear just about anything and rock it, we’re happy for you. For everyone else, choose wisely. Here are 13 things that look good on no one:

1. Pleated Slacks
They will make you look old, fat and out of date.

2. Micro Mini Skirt
Sure if you are 16 years old and have short petite legs but ladies, get real. You are a bit seasoned to wear something this small. The most universally flattering length is knee length or just below.

3. The Color Orange
It works in pops of color like a necklace or a cami under a jacket but as an entire outfit, ya look like a big tangerine and often times orange is one of the hardest colors to wear across the entire body.

4. Acid Wash Denim
It was popular in 1985. Enough said.

I LOVE promoting other people's brands even though they don't pay me shit! Just say NO, or look like a moron.

5. Capped Sleeves
You know the sad thing is I see this on at least 3 women everyday. You could have the arms of Madonna and still look flabby so please ladies, pick any other sleeve but this!

6. Wide Horizontal Stripes
This does nothing for any woman. I don’t care if you are a size 0. This does make you look big. If you must wear stripes opt for smaller lines or do alternating dark colors or tone on tone (beige on taupe).

7. Shorts With Heels
If you work at the night clubs in Vegas then go right ahead but this is never appropriate or classy. If you are wearing shorts you should be wearing flats or wedges ONLY.

8. Christmas Sweaters
JUST DON’T!

9. Overalls
These are not even chic on the farm so what in the hell makes you think you can pull them off here! No way!

10. Boxy Jackets
These create a boxy silhouette and look terrible on. The most flattering and stylish shape right now is shrunken and fitted.

NOTHIN will rise to meet you in bed if you're wearing THIS! LOL

11. Stockings With Sandals
They are sandals ladies! They are meant to be worn with bare feet.

12. Logos
Doesn’t matter if it is a football team or designer, wearing a logo takes style away from the outfit and appears as though you are trying to flash it.

13. Flannel Night Gowns
Unless you are violently ill or have the flu, this should never EVER EVER be worn in bed with a man around. This is the biggest turnoff to men of every age.

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One Response to 13 Things You Should NEVER Wear on Pain of Death!

  1. Great advise…except, I wear flannels to bed! Haha, my hubby would love your advise for sure!! I freeze to death at night and he gets hot, so I gotta bundle up. Don’t say bundle up with him, cuz he gets hot! Temperature hot, that is…lol. Sorry for rambling…

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